


another Big Break

by TechnoSkittles



Series: Adora Mind Wipe AU [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Angst, Episode 9 spoilers, F/F, I won't apologize, Nightmares, Not super shippy but yeah, adora mind wipe au, could be hinted, shadow weaver's a bitch btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:12:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnoSkittles/pseuds/TechnoSkittles
Summary: Adora has regular night terrors, an expected side effect from someone who's had a great deal of their mind erased. Catra is there to comfort her but feels guilt in being complicit to the torture that Adora is facing within her own mind.Aka AU where Shadow Weaver is successful in wiping Adora's memories.





	another Big Break

**Author's Note:**

> My introduction to the She-Ra fandom. Normally I start with a character study fic and my actual intentions were to make my debut a smut fic, but someone gave me this idea in the Catradora server and next thing I knew I had this typed out.
> 
> It makes the most sense that I make my debut with an angst fic. I wouldn't be the Queen of Angst if I didn't.

The nightmares were constant.

There didn't go a single night where Catra wasn't rudely awoken by a stern kick to her temple. And like all the other nights, she jolted upward hands immediately going for Adora's arms which flailed about wildly in her sleepful fit of terror. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her brow was scrunched into wrinkles of fear and desperation, emotions that would linger without purpose or content once Adora woke up.

Shadow Weaver said there would be mild side effects. Catra wasn't sure she'd call these "mild".

"Hey….hey, Adora. Wake up!"

After a prolonged moment of wrestling, Adora's limbs finally began to still and her eyes fluttered open. She squinted against the low light and her eyes erratically jumped around her surroundings, landing on Catra. Her initial reaction was surprise, then fear, then confusion and uncertainty. Once recognition took hold, she calm down fully, her chest heaving but muscles relaxed and Catra knew that she remembered where she was finally.

One memory to replace the old. Familiarity placates in the stead of truth.

"Catra…" she whispered, her voice filled with relief. Trust. Without confliction.

Catra wasn't sure it sounded right on her tongue anymore. Not like that. Maybe never again.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, releasing Adora's wrists to sit back on her haunches. "You nearly gave me a concussion...again," she tacked on, flicking her tail in annoyance.

Adora sat up slowly, breath steadying with a small smile on her face. Expression so easy and playful, unchanged. "No one told you to sleep in the 'danger zone,'" she quipped with a tad hint of guilt lacing her tone.

Catra waved her off, averting her gaze from Adora's, hating how her eyes burned into skin like a scalding hot iron. Branding, accusing, without really knowing why. That was a sensation she had gotten more used to recently, but it was...different now. It seared into her flesh and she wanted nothing more than to gauge them out, to rid herself of the burden of knowing more than she ought to.

She wondered why Shadow Weaver seemingly trusted her enough to let her keep what Adora had lost.

Then she considered maybe this was her punishment for not being the one to bring her back.

That old bitch.

A drawn-out sigh pried Catra from her musings and she looked at Adora whose shoulders were hunched over and her head hanging low. She knew what was coming and she wanted to prolong it however long she could. Before she could think of how to deflect the impending conversation, Adora gathered up enough wit to speak.

"It's that same dream," she started out soft. Small and frightened. "That...that voice keeps calling out to me." Her mouth twists as she struggles to think, strains to push past the haze clouding her head to bring back what was lost, to retrieve what had been stolen. Catra knew that she had to stop it, if not because that's what Shadow Weaver had instructed than simply for Adora's sake to end her suffering, but she stayed silent. She did nothing.

She was good at that.

Adora fisted her thin blanket as she began to shake and grunt, head aching to remember. "Then there's..." She hesitated, probably stuck at an impasse. Catra could see that she was within reach, her fingertips tasting the surface as Adora kicked and clawed for air, for salvation. "There's….these faces and...and I  _know_  I've seen them before but I don't know  _where_  or  _who_ they are but…." She looked up at Catra, eyes swimming with tears as she struggled not to drown. She was being pulled back under, quickly and painfully and Catra could only watch as she gasped and sputtered.

"They...those people...they're important somehow!" Her hushed voice began to reach a hysteric pitch and Catra leaned forward to place her hand on Adora's chest in order to calm her. They couldn't risk waking the others. "But... _gah_  I can't remember!" Her hand whiped up to cover Catra's and grasped it tightly, her grip cutting off her circulation. But Catra didn't attempt to pull away, not now nor when Adora pressed both their hands closer to her chest as if to quell some ache festering there.

A few seconds ticked by in silence and then Adora's grip loosened enough for Catra's hand to slip away. She retracted it slowly while watching Adora carefully, face neutral.

Adora sat there looking down at her lap. Then she brought her hands to her eyes, covering them and massaging them briefly. Once finished her hands fell to her lap and she heaved a great sigh.

"It's gone again."

Catra didn't say anything for a moment. Then,

"You have the craziest dreams, Adora."

This earned her a smile, one she didn't feel she actually earned, and her gut twisted in a nauseating way. "Crazier than the dream you had that Kyle turned into a mouse?"

Catra let out a laugh, but not because she found it funny. Adora was expecting her to and she couldn't let her down. She could only hope that Adora was sleep-deprived enough that she wouldn't notice how empty it was.

"Alright, dork. You need sleep. We both do if we don't want Shadow Weaver on our asses in the morning."

Adora winced when Catra said Shadow Weaver's name and her hand reflexively rose up to her right temple. Catra inwardly cursed her vapidness and tackled Adora to the bed as a distraction. "Come on, sleepyhead! I'm sleeping up here tonight before you give me permanent brain damage."

Adora laughed and rolled her eyes and Catra could feel every movement beneath her body. "Okay fine," conceded Adora. "But you can't sleep on top of me." She wiggled around until she was able to turn onto her right side and looked up at Catra expectantly. "Get behind me, you big oaf."

Without arguing, Catra climbed to Adora's backside and curled up against the space between her shoulder blades, reveling in the warmth she gave off. In minutes, Adora was fast-asleep without another word, leaving Catra to her thoughts.

She'd missed this. With everything that happened between them, she was afraid that Adora would hate her forever and give up on her entirely. All those years, lost to them because Adora wanted to traipse around with princesses and play dress-up.

Catra may not have entirely agree with Shadow Weaver's methods, but she couldn't deny that she didn't appreciate the end results. If Adora hadn't had her memories wiped, they wouldn't be lying here, laughing and playing like they used to. Catra would still be spending nights alone, trapped in a cell of memories and broken promises, forced to face the reality that while she needed Adora, Adora never needed her - not in the way she needed her to anyway.

But with Adora back now, none of that mattered. Things could go back to how they used to be. Before that stupid sword. Before the princesses. Before  _She-Ra_.

Catra forced down the wave of nausea that rocked her, suppressing the guilt accompanying it.

If all that were really true, why did she still feel so immensely guilty? She knew, deep down, that it was wrong to hold Adora captive from her own memories. It was wrong to enslave her the way they had and if somehow she ever broke out of this spell, which Catra had a feeling she would because that was just so  _Adora_ , she'd hate her even more. She considered telling Adora, but she wasn't even sure if she was in a state to believe her. She'd probably write it off as some joke.

So for now, Catra made the decision to live with the guilt. She could do that, easy. As long as she could blind herself in Adora's warmth and shut out the reality that loomed over them both.

Because fate was cruel that way.

**Author's Note:**

> Like my writing? Check out my tumblr for more: technoskittles.tumblr.com/tagged/ash-writes


End file.
